Cocaine and hookers: a reason to live

So, something just hit the ‘Best of’ Reddit thread and it’s kind of amazing in every way.

A redditor going by the totally appropriate username of “plzsendhalp” has posted his own, very special account of recovery from depression and a desire to commit suicide.

Here’s what went down: Mr Plzsenhalp went to Mexico with the intention of buying barbiturates in order to give himself a “humane and peaceful death”.

Sensible fellow that he is, Mr Plzsendhalp thought “I really might as well fuck a prostitute before I end it all”.


After that, a taxi driver offered him some cocaine. “One thing lead to another, and I got a room above a whore house equipped with a heart-shaped bed, a stripper pole, and a hot tub”.

Plzsendhalp reports that he spent a week snorting cocaine off prostitutes’ tits, slamming pain meds and tequila, downing Viagra to make sure he kept his boner in the face of all the coke and tequila and enjoying many, many threesomes.

“Somewhere in the midst of my coke-fuelled orgy, I decided life wasn’t so bad after all”.

This story is not only totally outrageous, it’s really kind of heart-warming. And that’s why we felt it was definitely worth sharing.

Mr Plzsendhalp not surprisingly now has different thoughts on depression and suicide…

“Whenever I see those “forever alone” posts on Reddit, I just want to find out where those dudes live and send a hooker their way. I’d be the best fucking secret Santa EVER!” The guy really just wants to pay it forward now, apparently.

So this one goes out to all of you who are currently feeling at your wit’s end: there is always cocaine and hookers.