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These New South Whales – the Series

BY SAM HENNING

There’s no phrase that I hate more than ‘un-put-downable’ but if the new web series These New South Whales was a book, that unfortunate fucking word would be the only way to describe it.

Jamie, Todd, Luke and Will are These New South Whales; a band known for shedding their shirts and taping up their nipples with black gaff before going on stage all like “it’s like forty bucks a roll, so….we go through that a fair bit.”

They’ve come down from Newcastle to Sydney seeking fame, (but not fortune; they’re too punk for profit).

The six-part series follows the everyday adventures of being in a band, from scoring a pre-gig fifty from their creepy weed dealer to fighting with their creative director, Brian Mott; a man who designs websites in Microsoft Paint and insists on being paid only in Pinot Noir.

Their music is punchy too, a raucously ocker sound and undeniably punk, whatever that means these days. To be honest, I watched the whole series on my phone, which remained un-put-down for all six episodes.

And in the quiet moments I found myself chanting their theme song/hype track; a catchy, distorted loop of the band’s name being shouted. (It’s really good)

It’s fitting, this is a story of a band that’s living their dream, and really committing to a life of gigs and touring, four friends on stage. Jamie, the cheerfully frenetic frontman alternates between ‘fuck you’ punk affectation and dad-joke sincerity, but on stage he’s all business.

Todd, the guitarist is used to the trials of performing; “…like tonight Jamie could do a shit on stage, I wouldn’t be that surprised. He could do a shit on me, who cares? Just brush it off, play a riff.”

Think GG Allin meets Flight of The Conchords.

They’re all hometown friends, but like in all good band stories, there’s a tension between the boys. After one particularly galling moment, Will the bassist storms out, and Luke, the ever-hopeful drummer cheerfully describes Jamie’s questionable creative decisions “…we followed our captain into battle, and um, unfortunately we got both our legs blown off…” the smile fading from his face like the head of foam from a warm beer.

So if you’ve got a couple of hours and nothing to put down, check out These New South Whales. 

It’s a damn fine (R/M)ockumentary; five out of five rolls of Nipple Tape.

TNSW is un-put-fucking-downable.

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