Rooster-1

The Daily Struggles of A Female Cock Connoisseur

BY MISSY SCOTT

I don’t know how to say this eloquently: I love cock. But I’m going to warn you in advance that this is not going to be a ‘slut-and-proud-of-it’ op-ed. I consider myself an elitist when it comes to dick. I liken my preferences for, and consumption of, cock to be not dissimilar to a culinary enthusiasts’ appetite for caviar and foie gras. I suppose you could say I’m a penis snob.

This is not an easy life to live. I’m a white collar young professional. I’m meant to be a modest, well-behaved, house-wife in training. I’m supposed to be the kind of woman that puts the napkin in her lap at gourmet restaurants, refuses a third wine and makes the lucky man wait till the third date to get hot and heavy. But this just isn’t me.

See, I partly blame t-pain for the complete confidence I have in my ability to be a lady in the street and a freak in the sheets. If you met me in one of my regular coffee shops, or asked me for directions in peak hour foot traffic you’d have no idea that whilst I was looking at you sweetly I was trying to work out what your dick looked like.

It’s not just about size for me, but it’s important. Not just length but girth. I’m like a 16 year old boy with a tit fetish: the bigger the better. I feel the same way about taking a monster cock as skinny bitches do about skipping breakfast. I test myself, I push my boundaries and I reward myself when I pull it off. With multiple orgasms.

But like I said, it’s not just about size. I’m a female and aesthetics matter to me. One of my boyfriend’s dicks wavered precariously close to the ‘average’ threshold in terms of size AND girth, but when I saw his cock it removed any semblance of a doubt. A perfect pink. Round head. Symmetrical. A single blue vein throbbing up to the head. Penis perfection.

By this point you will undoubtedly realise how into all this I am. Can you imagine how difficult it is for me to go on dates with guys, listen to them tell me about their lives, their dreams, their fears and to play the nice girl who isn’t obsessed with delightful dumb-sticks?

I hate the girls that paraded all over tinder denouncing dick pictures. I can’t think of anything better than receiving a sleuth of cock collateral for my secret collection. Plus, it would help me sort through who I would and wouldn’t be attracted to.

I’m so sick and tired of pretending that I don’t find head the most enjoyable part of sex; because girls don’t appreciate the wonder of the wang. Put it in my face, slap me with it, tease me with it, show me it. Be confident and love your cock, and I’ll probably think pretty highly of you in return.

Before you go and call me a hoe and tell me I’ll never find a husband because I embrace my sexuality — think again. If the words of T-Pain are anything to go by (and I think they are) it’s pretty damn easy to turn a hoe into a housewife.

Plus, I cook a mean steak.

Comments

comments